Things have changed for me in a big way this past week.
Hecate, my Matron Goddess, has reawakened with the dawning shadows of Winter and is asserting her will, strongly, as is her way.
I have found myself at her crossroads, only there is no decision to be made, for my torch bearing Goddess has marked the way.
With the revelations of the past week, I have dropped the title of Wiccan for something I feel is more expansive, I am a Witch.
Only a week ago, I would have identified my path as Wiccan.
Wiccan in the sense that there is a God and a Goddess.
That the Wheel Of The Year is celebrated.
That the Full Moon is a time of ritual celebration.
That the Dark Moon may or may not be a time of darker magick, meditation and looking within.
I have tried the ways of Wicca for a few years now, but it has never felt quite right for me, never really came from the heart.
There are many parts of Wicca that do work.
A symbolistic approach to the Wheel works.
The Goddess works.
Much of the Wiccan ritual structure works.
What doesn’t work is the strong focus on polarity.
Always male and female. masculine and feminine, anima and animus, God and Goddess.
This has never worked for me.
Invoking The God during a full moon rite, has never felt right.
I could never put my heart into it, so abandoned that whole idea quickly.
I understand about the moon only being lit by the sun, but this never seemed to matter.
Deep down inside, it just never resonated for me.
For me, my Full Moon rites are worked with The Goddess.
Just her and I , under the light of the moon.
This works and just feels right.
I have never really had a Patron God.
I have tried, have made connections.
Herne was with me for a while and I thought I had found Him.
I was sad when he left, but understood he had left me a gift.
He had been with me when I was in need of his particular energies.
He gave what he needed, wanted, to give and then he left.
Hecate has been there from the beginning, has been with me always.
She called me to her and has been by my side ever since.
The reality of her presence in my rites is something to behold.
She has always been so strong and vital in my life.
I have never experienced that level of thereness, with any other Deity I have worked with.
Now, during a week of some deep Dark Goddess work, I know where my path leads.
My path is Hecate, in all her varied aspects and splendor.
Hecate, both light and dark.
She has much to teach me, much to give me and she wants my full and undivided attention.
This sits well with me, as deep down, I have always known she was my Goddess, my only Goddess.
She is creator, protector, teacher, guide, friend and mother.
Hecate is the Goddess who will guide me, into the light, into the dark, towards wisdom, knowledge and the mysteries.
Now, finally, I have surrendered to her will.
I redressed my altar, dedicating it solely to her, as it was when I began these ways.
Hecate has been a happy participant during this process, even providing some of the items upon said altar.
When my Husband brought me home a shed snake-skin, I couldn’t help but smile knowingly.
My Horned God statue now sits proudly on the small communal altar in my lounge room.
This too feels right, as the solar Sabbats are celebrated as a family.
I enjoy celebrating Sabbats, as does my muggle family (even if just for the lavish feasts I prepare), and we will continue to do this.
Honoring the cycles of the sun, the endless wheel of the seasons, is just part of who I am.
Even though fitting the Wheel Of The Year to the Australian climate requires much juggling, I have found much symbolism and discovery within its framework.
At the Sabbats, I give thanks for His light, His energy, His yearly sacrifice.
I love the concept of the Horned God and His Wild Hunt.
Yet, honoring The God has always been an outer activity, one to celebrate and share with my family.
Honoring The Goddess is a personal and quiet affair, Her mysteries aren’t conducive to sharing, they are just known and understood.
Polarity and equality has just not worked for me.
Working with both God and Goddess at every rite, every working.
I tried, but it never rang true to me.
I believe this is to do directly with Hecate.
Other Goddesses pair well with their masculine counterparts, Aphrodite and Pan at Beltane, for instance.
But Hecate just seems to have both bases covered in this regard.
She feels whole and complete.
Hecate is a loner, a solitary Goddess.
She also carries symbols that are considered to be masculine, her sword and her torches.
Hecate is enough for me, she fulfills me in ways a pair of Deities just do not.
But then, this is why I am a proud solitary.
I can work my path any which way I please.
I am not bound by tradition, either in the larger sense or with the traditions and beliefs of a specific coven.
My path is mine and mine alone, I can do with it as I please.
Or maybe, as She pleases.
At this time, as the sun wanes in the sky, as the days become noticeably shorter, I feel the pull of The Dark Goddess.
From now until the Wheel turns anew, my path is that of the Dark Moon, the Dark Goddess and The Underworld.
It is time to draw within, to learn of myself and the sometimes harsh, sometimes compassionate, face of the Dark Goddess.
Who better than to lead the way down these darkened paths and the treacherous caverns of The Underworld, than that ancient guide herself, Hecate.